Mental Illness Bites

Today, right now, every moment. I am beginning anew.


I had two of my wisdom teeth pulled yesterday. They both had cavities in them and the dentist said it would be cheaper to pull them then to fix them, and since I don’t really need them anyway…well, that’s logical right?

Losing my wisdom teeth might make me question the presence of wisdom in general. Turns out the name wisdom teeth might be a mistranslation from the Dutch word “verstandskiezen”, which literally means ‘far-standing molars’. On it’s own “verstand” means wisdom. Coincidentally, in German “verstanden” means understood. Is wisdom always understood? Anyway…

Losing teeth changes the way your mouth feels, changes the way your tongue rests, the consistency of your closed mouth, something I very much took for granted.

I lay awake at night thinking I should be writing something for someone. For myself always. But I should be putting my writing out in the world whether it is useful or not, whether someone reads it or not. But to say what I really want to say, it would not be appropriate for very many to read, but maybe that’s the point. My censor is stopping me. Curbing my desire, perhaps even my happiness? Would a blog read by no one bring me happiness?

The Yarn Harlot writes about yarn and knitting and her life as it apparently revolves around both. She is witty, self-deprecating and brilliant. She goes days without writing, but writes at least a few times every week. About crafty things, things that make me laugh and nod along. I would like to do that. Write something that makes others laugh and nod along.

What is my theme? How did she begin? Did she sit down at the computer one day and just start typing about what she had done that day? Or did she go into back story, introducing her family members, her history, her life situation? Or was it an organic development, seeping through her writing as the days passed on.

Is this in fact enough for a first entry? Can I begin here? I suppose it hurts no one to try.

Turns out, Stephanie Pearl-McPhee started with the top 10 reasons she should do a knitting blog. I have no justification, just words on paper that might make someone else laugh or smile or shake their head in pity. One might question the wisdom of my motives.

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